Your not a junky and its not your fault that you can't work right now. Just the xanax is not working for you. Do you have a psychiatrist or a therapist? Its so hard to remember that your head is telling you something that is wrong. I ended up tattooing 'breathe' to my wrist to help remind me its my head and I have to wait it out. You have to find a way to remind yourself that what you're thinking is untrue. Trust me it wont always work but it helps. My therapist gave me the mantra" slow down, sleep and seroquel" when I'm manic.

I have issues with paranoia at times. It is hard to realize what is real and what is not at times.

I attribute that to my anxiety and not clinical paranoia (for me). It does happen to me at times but usually only when I'm having a "fragile day" when it is all I can do to even walk into a store. I also think people are staring at me when they are probably not.

When I'm depressed I'm sure all my coworkers are talking about how much they hate me. Family too.

For years when I was young and in grade school I thought everyone was looking at me. I thought they were looking at how I walked, which I thought was strange. This plagued me for many years.


My tdoc had my use the rubber band trick. It helped me escape from negative thinking. But sometimes I was snapping it so much that I thought I would have blue bruises on my wrist.

I am sorry your parents feel that way about you. Do you think it is due to BP depression you are feeling this way? Perhaps not. You are not alone here.