Quote:
Originally Posted by nowheretohide
I feel exactly the same way as you. I've tried really hard to fit in over the years in vain... because I wanted to be a part of things or be normal or whatever. Always ended up feeling stupid and weird. But now I've accepted I'm socially strange and sick of feeling awkward in front of people and I've just accept it isn't worth it for me so I'm mostly a recluse. In retrospect I've been faking it in front of others for a long time (still do when I have to socialize, wearing "the mask").
I feel judged all the time - when I'm watchin TV and I can hear my neighbors laughing on the porch I feel judged like they're laughing at me.
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Even if the neighbours are laughing at you, so what? They most likely are not, but if they are, f*** 'em!
To answer the original question, I find that the most difficult thing socially is small talk. I really can't see the point in it and it bores me to tears. Maybe that's why I don't seem to be very good at it!
I really, really dislike going to parties. You're expected to make mundane small talk and converse with new people in whom you have no interest whatsoever. No, I don't care what you do for a living, nor where you're going on your next vacation, or how well your kid is doing in school. Why on earth would I?
Talking about things that are actually interesting and on a deeper level intellectually, such as philosophical debate for example, does not bore the pants off me. But try introducing something like that at parties - it'll clear a room faster than a can of CS gas.
I guess I'm just not a conversationalist. I can't see the point in spouting on about any old cr@p just to have something to say. It's like the Talking Heads song, "If I ain't got nothing to say, my lips are sealed. Say something once, why say it again?".