Quote:
Originally Posted by Lamplighter
Now that's interesting! I have a profound need to be rescued (probably lots of different words for it too, but rescue sounds about right) but seem to make people respond in precisely the opposite way - instead of activating their rescuer part (which makes a lot of sense in regard to what I've read of your situations) I seem to inspire them to oppose and reject and push me away. Result, I get more alienated and need rescuing even more 
I wonder if you're consciously aware of how you might inspire their rescuer part - what sorts of things you might have been doing that sent the 'rescue me' messages? (Lol I'm thinking I might take a leaf or two from your book.)
Sorry to sound flippant about what have been awful times for you with rescuers turning controllers, I was just interested in the dynamic that might have set up this pattern. |
Haha lol, sorry lamplighter this made me
yes, it was awful but it's nice to look on the bright side sometimes.
I don't know what about me makes them want to rescue me. Ex t said I was so small and cute and she just wanted to take me home and look after me, of course I liked that at first but then she thought she could tell me how to live my life and what I should do....
I can be very helpless which I am told is a symptom of trauma and when I get overwhelmed I am at a loss for words so of course.....t comes to the rescue. I sit there stunned liked a rabbit in the headlights.
I think it depends on the ts too, all of my ts have been older women with no children or their children had left home and they had empty nest syndrome, which makes a perfect recipe for rescuing.
I tried a t that was ten years older than me once but it so didn't work and felt weird, I think she was uncomfortable with the dynamic too.
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