I have some friends yes, but the truth is we were really isolated from anyone while we were in this relationship. It was just the two of us and occasionally some friends, but mostly in was a very introverted relationship. I wanted all this to change, now that we would have our house and be more open to life, having our jobs and responsibilities, but it never happened. What makes me not being able to process it at all, is that he never showed the smallest doubt for us; he would look me right in the eyes and tell me I need to trust him 100% and that after so many years I should know by now that he's not going anywhere and he's sure about us and everything he says. And his behavior was that of the most caring person of the world. Till the last day. I really don't know how I will be able to trust anyone again. It hurts like I never knew I could hurt. Thank you for your kind words and I'm really sorry you had to go through something so painful as well.