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Perna said:
Have you ever not done anything with the sexual aspect of the relationship until you got to be friends/know one another really well? That might be interesting to try, spend a few months talking/getting to know one another well and get the relationship well established on other grounds before adding the sexual. It looks like there's a "pattern" so maybe think of some way to interrupt that pattern and replace with another so the sexual attraction on/off switch doesn't function the way it is now?

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Good question/observations. I don't have sex immediately, but usually if I start seeing someone that I'm really interested in (and we're going out all the time) then after about a month or so I'll become sexually involved with him. I had one relationship where we waited a long long time, and I lost interest because we waited so long (actually we never did have sex, but that's a long depressing story). On the other hand, I once had a long-term friendship where I hadn't really hought about the other person in a sexual sense. And then suddenly I/we did. And that was the best sexual relationship of my life. I never lost interest in sex with him although we did split up eventually (total heartbreak). I really hope to feel that way again (not the heartbreak part, but the preamble). And yet I do want to look specifically to date, not just hope that friendships will blossom. So I don' t know.

Sid