And I I don't know I get angry at myself for cutting or burning in bht I get a joy out of it also a "thril " out of it.... today my mates brother asked" if I have a misses yet" and my make was just like "dude just don't it's very touchy subject for him at the moment" and that made me think what the actual **** am I doing with my life I mean Im not progressing in life nor am I happy bout it... like yea i get that these people the did screw me over are not worth it but it does feel like it is "the end" and the pyscological and physical pain I go through is hell. Because if I'm with someone I love my world literally will evolve around them and then only.... but I have no idea what tomorrow will bring me (part of me what's good things yo happen another part wants bad things to happen)but either way I'm screwed up and immediately now going to bed ;(

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