Hi Twisted. I hope today brings some ray of hope into the picture for you. Maybe the counseling will help. It is mainly your wife who needs help. I think one thing she needs is for someone to tell her that she has to make up her mind to either commit to the marriage or let go of you. She has the security that your love gives her, while she withholds the love that you need. This is terribly unfair. This is not a way for a young women of 24 to act, unless she is pretty disturbed mentally on some level. It sounds like she thinks she is missing out on some ideal life that probably doesn't exist for anyone. Do what you can with the counseling, and maybe have her get evaluated for depression. Her problem may be not really about her relationship with you, but about something else. She may just be projecting everything on to you. Unhappy people tend to look for someone to blame. I say that as a depressed woman, myself. I tend to be blaming of my S/O when it is really a problem in my own mind. But I recognize that and I tell him that. It gets tempting, especially for women, to think that if only some fantasy man would come into her life, then she would feel great. She says she is attracted to other men, but what she is really attracted to is the way she imagines these men to be - ideal with magical powers to lift her spirits for her. That's something she is going to have to learn better to do for herself. You have a very good heart to be as kind to her as you are and not be reacting with a lot of anger. Many men would.

I think you might be on the right track by maybe not catering to her too much. She has to take some responsibility for her own happiness. You can't deliver it to her on a silver platter. Hang back a bit and let her have to come to you for closeness. She is taking you for granted, when she is really very lucky to have you. Does she work? Does she expend her energies in any positive direction? Or is she lazing around wishing she were in some better place that exists in her dreams. Maybe she has too much time on her hands. That is just a hunch, and I may be way off. I hope things improve, but they may get worse before they get better. Let us know how it's going.