Thanks again for such enlightenment. She did see the doctor about chemical and hormone imbalances to no avail. She was prescribed a birth control by our mutual agreement to prevent involving kids in this. She was also given a low dose of a pill to clear her head and help her focus, idk what that pill is exactly.

Not much has changed from last night but I feel obligated to work at this and your words are not hurting things. Much appreciated in fact.

She stills seems dedicated to working on this but I feel I know her well and I have gotten a vibe that makes me feel like she is anticipating the councilor to have no positive affect on our relationship. This makes me want out now but I have trouble giving up so easily.

I do plan to remain somewhat distant to make her realize that she has to desire my comfort before I offer it.

She does have a job with the federal govt that she went to college for. In this position she works 40 hrs a week and has a considerable amount of control over what is approved or not. It's largely stressful and very logical and analytical.

After college we moved to the northern part of our state 3.5 hrs away from both families for her job. I put my career goals on hold to allow her to grow in her job. When we got the news we were moving back home we made plans to live with my brother in law and his wife and two kids. This too was stressful as the kids like me better and my wife and her sister in law dont see eye to eye very often. Now that this has been brought up we r renting an apt. and plan to see a councilor still. I have given a lot to this relationship in terms of large sacrifices to do what I thought was right all this time. Now it seems much of this May have been for nothing.

I know I'm supposed to be 100% committed to this but I'm not certain that I'll be able to swallow this situation and the words spoken even if there is a solution where we remain married, that's when I'll be asking for a different kind of advice from you great folks.

I did ask if she had ever had a better romantic/emotional/sexual attraction/connection with a past s/o only to find out her abusive boyfriend was the best r/e/s attraction/connection to date. Perhaps that speaks volumes as to how she has a subconscious desire to be dominated? She is still unwilling to discuss sex with me and continues to say that talking about it thinking about it and doing it with me weird her out.

Do I sit her down and force her to talk about it?

She still claims there is much soul searching and self discovery to be done on her part, as she put it "I have to be happy with me before I can be happy with someone" I wish I could underline "someone". Not sure what she means by that.

I do want this to work as of now but I have a hard time believing there's hope and I refuse to get my hopes up and get hurt like this in a couple months. Thats the length of time we decided to "try".