Most of your interactions with her draw it away from food right now. Ie. A walk and a movie instead of dinner and a movie. The more you push food and being around food the more she'll isolate herself from you. Seriously ask if she wants you to eat before coming home from work. Try to get a list of her safe foods and keep the fridge stocked with that and add like 5 small things, add more as the days / weeks go on. The less you are around food the more she'll be around you. Any mention of food/eating/her weight or her apperince will end in a fight you can't win. I know I have turned to my husband and venomously told him to stop calling me beautiful not because I didn't want to hear it but that it set off the list of horribleness I have to change.

Let the drs and therapist deal with her eating disorder. You need to be on her side which means not being precieved against the eating disorder. Remember you love her through sickness and in health. Well this is the sick part. Its mean and cruel to both of you and you will probably need outside support like your own therapist.

I am sorry this is happening to you both