Hey,

This might be a touchy question to put out there, but I was listening to a podcast today (Mental Illness Happy Hour - with Natasha L. 4/4/14) and she was talking about her mother being apparently, according to Natasha L's diagnosis, BPD.

The guest on the podcast found her mother's diaries after her death that expressed several times how her mother hates her children and wishes they would die of cancer. There was also discussion about both the host's and the guest's mothers' being possible BPD's because of the intense hatred and guilt and "martyrdom" they put upon their children...

This also included an apparent trait of BPD as "pitting people against eachother" Serious?

Now, I am a mother of a 16 year old boy and sometimes I feel the burden of being a mother since I was 20 and how I do look forward to freedom in a few years, but I cannot for the life of me relate to such hideous attempts to barrage children with guilt and insults and claim this as symptomatic of BPD...

And what about pathological lying??? I know there are desperate attempts to avoid abandonment and they can range from person to person.. but pathological lying??

Im am hurt and confused by this and was wondering if surely this isn't the case... I am the most loving, compassionate and caring person, I do it so much so that I am often left vulnerable and hurt, sure I get angry but the anger that I feel outwardly toward someone.. immediately turns inwards and I begin feeling uncontrollable anger at myself for feeling anger over something stupid in the first place and the cycle begins.. That's BPD right?

If you guys can give me an honest account of what this might be all about that would be great...

Or have I just come across the material that we are warned to avoid on the interwebs...?