Hello Jax.
I think everyone has a level of self preservation to themselves, and I feel your emotional attachment to the hate is just because you are tryine to preserve your feelings and yourself. Your therapist is a good source on how to let go of the behaviors that you are not wanting to deal with that you feel are in correct and moving on with your life in a more adult manner. realizing the fault is part of wanting to outgrow the negative behavior. I think and feel that you are in a very good place for a therapis tto help turn the negative behavior into more positive outcomes in your life Jax. I hope the best for you in the future. take care Good to see you posting Soidhonia