I'm sorry it's so tough right now. Financial trouble can really stress you out, don't I know! And when you're in an episode it's even harder.

I suppose it depends in your definition of Sui thought. I mean are you actively planning? Because that's not ok. But if you just kinda wish you were dead, that happens to me nearly every day, regardless of mood. So I consider that to be "normal". If I were dead I would t have to deal with the stress, that's all. Doesn't mean I actually want to plan my death.

I hope you find relief soon. Being agitated really sucks. Worst mood state IMO.