Addiction
I was never one to like smoking or any drugs. I would look at people smoking weed and say so myself, how could they do that. For me it was getting caught up in the wrong crowd. My opinion is you can raise a child with love and values but if they get caught up in the wrong crowd peer pressure sets in. So started smoking and going to the club limelight. If nobody has seen this documentary about new Yorks club scene I highly reccomend it. This is where I picked up extasy, special k, cocaine. I think all these drugs played a big part in why my big polar became worse. Its only my opinion. This is not a drug thread, this is my history of how I went to rehabs, my section from 29-36 is where the mental health comes in. Check video at bottom of page.

At around 24, I def knew I had mood swings but I used drugs to cope. I never was working, I can say I always had my high school girlfriend and she even told me that my thinking was off at times. She stuck in there with me. So I went to inpatient rehabs but I would always relapse. It was just my mood was so out ta whack, I never thought to myself that at 36 I would have been in 5 hospitals and on disability.

So at around 27, I always worked for my father. So I never really had to be on time. I just never had a structured life. My girlfriend was a full time teacher and she was very close to my family so I decided to get engaged. If I only could turn the clocks back and tell mysel, think about your future. Don't mess this up. So I was still addicted and I cheated on her so much. I did love her. Anyway she caught me cheating on her and this is where my life spun out of control. My next section will be the last about my history.