Oh I understand this of course! But being the independent, stubborn, strong woman that I am this is really difficult. And staying in control was always something that was so important to me after I left home, because before that I had control over absolutely nothing and every decision was made by a sadistic father and mother. So all my life I fought to stay in control of my life and now, having to give it away to someone I don't know, have strangers help me with very intimate things - it really is the hardest thing to do - giving up control.
The illness has taken control over my body, and so I tried to at least stay in control over what I could. And it becomes less and less. So yes, it is incredibly difficult.

And I don't really choose who I get the help from, even that is taken out of my hands. I have to accept help from people I don't know. My therapist, yes I can accept her help but that is not the difficult part. (Haha, well sometimes it is! )