Hi will19, really sorry you're feeling this way. I know springtime can be feel bad anyway, with some days seeming endless, but with the triggers there to memories it must be pretty hard for you.
But maybe try to see this just a little as a new/different springtime instead of "yet another!" springtime?? And it's a sign that you've made it a whole year from the last one.....two....(?).
You have moved on a whole year, it might not feel like it when the memories come back, but in that time you've maybe managed to let go just that tiny, tiny bit, just a little more distance from......???
So this springtime can be a marker as to this year becoming more your year. Try to make time to do some things that might make you feel better about/in yourself. Even if those are just small things just keep on trying to do them as the days go by.
And make sure you have some "escape" time from the longer days, the "noises" e.g. in the later evening light or not shut the curtains/blinds, shut the windows if you have a fan, try and sometimes avoid more crowded places, wear headphones when you're out sometimes to cut down on the "chaos", make trips out a little shorter if you can............
And talk to us!!
If you want to talk about some of the things you've been through/the memories as well, in your own time, maybe we could support you a bit with those too???
Alison