I'm in a long-term relationship that works well... except when it comes to both of us feeling appreciated for what we do. While one of us is happy to just spend time together and do whatever the partner wants (him), the other wants verbal and physical signs of affection given freely (me). We've read about love languages, but even though I make an effort to speak his I only see sporadic efforts from him such as the first week after a request. This contradicts with his usual "let's do what you want to do" attitude and has me scratching my head.

I try to be forgiving because he grew up in a neglectful household, and this is his first serious relationship.

The only suggestions I've been able to find for couples where one partner will not budge from their position are:
1) Be patient and continue to be loving towards your partner, since they'll be more willing to reach out if they're happy.
2) Stop seeking your love language entirely and appreciate their love language instead.

Uh... flat-out no to the second because I only do two-way relationships, and I'm currently waiting on results with the first.

Any suggestions from couples who've overcome this? How long can someone be expected to show patience before they have to start prioritizing their own feelings?