Hello,

My boyfriend of only short time (3 months) has schizoaffective disorder. He was manic and hospitalized before we met and fell into a depression about three weeks after we met. He was honest about his condition from the beginning so I knew what I was getting myself into.

He's not on medication and refuses to ever take it, saying it makes him feel worse.

His depression has been getting worse and now he sleeps most of the day. He is struggling with his hygiene and isn't motivated to do normal "life things" like laundry. He's turned down three job offers because he wanted to sleep and he's slept through two job interviews. We don't talk as much as we once did because he sleeps when I'm awake and awake when I'm asleep. We've barely hung out recently (it's been a week and a half since I've seen him).

I'm being as supportive as possible while also telling him that he needs to see his doctors and to get help. He's becoming hostile and stubborn, and now refuses to even see his psychologists. He said he just needs to sleep and he'll feel better (a plan that hasn't been working for a two months).

I don't know what to do at this point. I spend so much time researching his disorder and different meds, but he refuses to try them. He refuses any treatment. I've contacted his mother (he's 21 and lives at home) about my concerns and made it clear that he's approaching a crisis but I don't know if she can be tough with him. My next step is to email his psychologist with my concerns because I'm certain that he downplays the severity at his appointments.

I told him last night that I need a couple days to myself to think about everything. He asked if I was breaking up with him and said he understands if I do, but we both don't want that to happen. The stress is really starting to get to me. I want my old boyfriend back, desperately. I keep waiting for him to come back.

How do I cope with my boyfriend being in such a deep depression? How do I cope with the guy I was recently so head over heels about being so different and unmotivated to do anything (including seeing me)?