Thread: so tired
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Old Apr 09, 2014, 11:01 AM
asma2712 asma2712 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: Dearborn Heights, MI
Posts: 1
hello. this is my first time posting here, as you can see. i'm not really sure how to do this, so i guess i will just write out what i feel. forgive me though, it's kind of hard to write things out.
i am a college freshman. i haven't been doing too well in my classes and i skip most of them. i've missed probably half of my math classes because i felt inadequate. my math teacher calls on me for answers and i don't reply because i dont know the answer and even if i do know the answer i cant get the words out. the fact that this happens just makes me so angry and anxious that i stopped going. i just feel low. and the more i stop going the guiltier i feel so that makes me not want to show up even more. for my history class its the same thing.
the only things i feel are sadness, nervousness, guilt, and anger. the smallest things infuriate me and i can remember them for months and years on end. i get so angry at my friends about the most trivial things, it makes me dizzy. it feels like my brain has been shook. most of the time i keep it inside but sometimes it shows and i feel ashamed and embarrassed. i feel guilty because im such a poor student and because im lying to my parents. they sent me here to study but i never go to class. i tried making myself feel better by apologizing to my teacher about missing class but i keep doing it. i feel like a failure all of the time because i cant do anything right, and everything gets to me. all of this makes me sad. i never leave my dorm because i feel low and my friends notice that i never leave and they tease me about it. when i do leave i feel good for a very short while but i start to feel bad and anxious. but my mom tells me not to sweat it because this world is only temporary. but honestly im just tired of everything. i just feel so low, i cant explain it. i hope it doesn't sound like im whining, this is the first time ive attempted to write out how i feel. i dont know how to do it. please help. all advice is appreciated, thank you.