JustAPixie, that's how I feel, too. I want to be young again, have more elastic skin, more vibrant and youthful skin, thicker hair, redder hair, brighter eyes, etc.

Yes, I know of the Chinese foot binding, too. There are many things we women have done to please our men, and in turn, have learned to see as beauty.

It's really easy to get off-topic, isn't it? It's natural for conversations to evolve. But, to sum up, you have to give yourself time, to evaluate your feelings. It's ok to talk with people about how you're feeling and get help understanding your feelings. If you come to the conclusion that you're gay or bi, talk with others who are gay or bi, because they may have experience dealing with situations that, unfortunately, are common for "different" people, and they can offer support that a straight person may not be able to.