OP, I understand what it's like to want to look a certain way but really, you have to accept things that you can't control and for the other things, take safe and realistic measures to change them. But don't make changes because you feel like people won't like you or are judging you, or you don't look like a certain ideal. The best you can do is be the best YOU you can be. Do what works for your life and your body type to enhance what's already there. Most people (even women) do not judge you as harshly as you think they are.

As far as attention from women, as a woman looking for a lifetime partner, I can tell you that you don't need to be jacked to get there. I am dating a man right now who is pale, has thinning hair, "softer" features, and even though he is in shape he's not super built. Basically, he is almost opposite of "the LOOK" you are after. He is attractive to me, he is a kind, considerate positive person. He is ambitious, respectful and CONFIDENT. In interacting with him, it was the entire package that drew me to him. So while there are of course many other men in the world who display attractive traits, because I care for this particular man my attentions are drawn to him. No lady who is serious about you and cares for you will be thinking of other men like that when they are with you. Many of your insecurities are of your own making and nobody can change that other than you.