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Originally Posted by Grey Matter I tested negative for Lupus, which is both a blessing and a curse. I went to my RT today and she finally gave me the diagnosis of adults still's disease. Which of course, is rare in adults (it starts usually as JRA). I am going to start on steroids next week and in two weeks go back for a check in. I am really sad. I can't explain it correctly. My parents have been no help. Telling me they have to live with their illnesses for the rest of their lives to which I replied to, quite bluntly with, "Yes but no offense, you're in your 50's. I am 23.". No one understand why I am taking this so hard and why it's hurting me. I already feel so broken mentally and now my body is breaking with it. No one is letting me feel validated in my emotions, telling me to suck it up and move on, which I will. Right now I just need to grasp that my body isn't the same anymore. And that's god damn hard.

I'm sorry to hear that. I can relate, I've been living with Lumbago for 2 yrs now ever since I was 24. Physical pain and psychological havoc; it's a double whammy. It is extremely difficult to accept disability and unwanted change; I am still having trouble accepting my physical disability. It's difficult sometimes to even want to get out of bed in the morning. I know how it is.

You're doing the right thing though by seeing your RT. You have done the first step; however, accepting the change will take time. Have you made a list of your strengths and weaknesses? I have been advised to do this. It's helpful b/c you can focus on your strengths and embrace them; and work on transforming your weaknesses or just accepting them and finding a way to embrace them.

]Remember to take sometime in the day to do something you enjoy. Persistence is priority. Focus on the best possible outcome. We have every right to cry.