I don't think I can stress this enough. Emotions shift and sway with any sort of wind. This will all come to pass as long as you keep doing your best to fight it (which I know you are). Do not think about what you've lost to depression. It will only make you sad. Do not think about yourself in wishes about personality and happiness. Focus on solid steps you can take for yourself. Join clubs. Get a job. Learn more about life from the movements of cities and people. Go to the city and give a homeless man/woman money in exchange for their life story. Write appreciation letters to all the people who have helped you. Compliment to everyone you meet. Offer to share an umbrella with a stranger. Meet people. Everyday write 3 things you are grateful for -- they have to all be different.

Life is not about being happy or enjoying things but you can almost always pull some sort of joy and love from the actions of others and the actions you give to others. Positivity is not something that you can wish into existence. Do not dwell on sadness or else it will consume you. Instead ask yourself why can't I NOT be happy? The answer is often "I don't know." start from confusion. Grow and learn. You have much to give the world but first you must take because that is how we grow. If we starve ourselves of water we die. You are a young sapling. You must first grow sturdy roots and that is almost always a terrible and painful process and plenty of us haven't mastered it either. But I stress not to throw a pity party for yourself. You are stronger than you think. Wiser than you believe. And more amazing than all your parts put together. If you constantly stare at what other people seem to have (and I stress the word seem because everyone has troubles we can't imagine) you will never have enough time to see what you have.

Move. And when you can't move make plans about moving. And most importantly, keep pushing yourself while accepting your failures. Failures mean you tried. And you are not a failure as long as you keep trying. The more you stare at depression the more you lose hope. Look around, feel your heartbeat. The billions of cells in your body are working hard to keep you alive. The wall you think is made out of titanium is actually made of cardboard but you need to strengthen your muscles to be able to blast through it.