Hi,

My name is J. I have just recently been diagnosed with bipolar, and I also suffer from addiction. I have been misdiagnosed for over 10 years, I think the first time I was diagnosed with depression was around age 14, and I am 26 now. I had what most would describe as a 'good' life I suppose. I'm good at school, athletic, had tons of friends, came from a decent family. But even when I've seemed to have everything, I could never stay happy long. And the lows just seem to get worse and worse. I turned to alcohol, and different drugs along the way. I got straight A's in high school and never really needed to study. But University has been a different story. Last year I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed ritalin. At the time I seemed to have everything going for me. I had a good job, was in my 2nd year of University, was in very good shape, I even ran a couple half marathons. I was also dating a guy who I thought was the love of my life. I was drinking often, but it wasn't a huge problem, and I hadn't touched weed or cocaine in years. Well the ritalin seemed to help at first, but I think I may have just liked the way it made me feel, and how I didn't get hungry. I was also diagnosed with bulimia at a young age, which I manage, but never really goes away. Eventually I started snorting the ritalin. Even when I wasn't doing that, things weren't going well. Everything started getting more extreme more often. My highs were wonderful, but got out of hand, and the lows were terrible to the point where I wouldn't get out of bed for days or weeks, and lie to my boyfriend about, because how do you explain that to someone. I get angry very easily, and sometimes I just can't handle anything. I pushed him away, and have pretty much destroyed every relationship in my life. My university career has suffered and just keeps getting worse. I can't get my self to exercise or go see friends or do much of anything. And just the other day I lost my job. I've completely isolated myself. I'm hoping medication may help me feel a little better?? But I really don't know what to do next, or how to repair my life. Any advice of what's worked for anyone, or anything hopeful would be nice to hear at this point. thanks.