I wish that I had known how precious time was, especially when I was still fairly young. I wasted so much time dwelling on what I didn't have, rather than focusing on what I could do with what I had.

My life would have been a lot different had I not focused on my emotionally neediness so much. I've spent the last 30+ years trying to fix my pain and fill up my neediness and sense of deprivation with something, because I didn't want to accept the pain or my fate. Now, 30+ years later, I still have the same pain, but now much of my life has passed by me, and there is not a lot of time life to make something of my life. Most everyone in my life, past and present, have written me off as a failure, disappointment, and embarrassment. Maybe I feel that way about myself now as well. I just don't know how to make up for all the lost time. And even if I could, the distressed part of me would probably continue getting in the way.