I feel for you. Reach out for help. Give yourself permission to do that. I hung in there for three years and it led to a major crash. Don't go there. You deserve better and your family should support you. Mine didn't bit I am better for it. I wish you the best. I have a wonderful relationship with my daughter but my ex husband washed his hands of
me after a 16 year marriage. I hope this is not your situation. But you are who you are. We didn't choose this. I'm happier and healthier. I wish you well. xoxox