Thread: Not much hope
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Old Apr 10, 2014, 02:54 PM
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Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: Michigan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnIslandNeverCries View Post
Sometimes I doubt myself that I really have depression, I think it's just the way I am. But reality always comes back to me and I'm back in the darkness. Except for less than an hour a week, I keep all the dark thoughts inside. I don't even remember who my "old self" was anymore. It's just me who I am now, on this dark path that leads to no way out. No one knows all these thoughts that are in my mind most of the day. I don't feel like a regular person anymore. I'm not. It sucks to be who I am now but don't believe I'll ever be "normal" again. On the outside to most everyone I still am though. I don't have much hope that I will ever get off of this dead end path.
I think it would be helpful to tell someone all these dark thoughts. Someone safe and non judgemental. You will find all the people here accepting, understanding, and non judgemental. I don't know if you want to post all those thoughts in a public forum but you are anonymous here. I am thinking more like a therapist.

It is not helping you keeping all those thoughts to yourself.
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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman

Major Depressive Disorder
Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun.
Recovering Alcoholic and Addict
Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide.

Male, 50

Fetzima 80mg
Lamictal 100mg
Remeron 30mg for sleep
Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back