unfortunately, Oklahoma was the first state to put it behind the counter. we had a State Trooper killed by a meth lab owner. i lived there when that happened.

as for being addicted to it, sounds as if you are. i seriously believe that you should sit down and come completely clean with your personal doctor. this is too heavy duty to figure out online. your health is too important to guess with. ask your own doctor what's going on and then follow his advice.