I feel like I'm only living for my boyfriend at the moment. I'm ok without him as long as I know he is on my side. But he's very easy to upset. Recently it seems that whenever I finally get excited about something or start feeling like I could get better, I manage to upset him and he makes me feel bad for whatever I wanted to do. When that happens, I just go immobile. My mum and my friends get annoyed because of it, because it'll usually happen on one of the few days I am strong and getting things done, then by the end of it I'll be curled up in a ball staring at the wall, there to stay for the forseeable future. It's amazing how sudden it can be. I felt better this morning than I think I have in 10 years. But for the last 12 hours all I've managed to do is eat half a meal and go to the loo. I don't even see the point in watching tv, sleeping, going on the internet. So I just stare. I've only just managed to snap out of it a bit because I needed to go to the loo. How do you keep going when everything seems so pointless? Should I bother? i feel like i have no control over it.