Man... that post was really inappropriate, I'm so sorry, it was really dumb of me to post it. Not in a "beat myself up" sort of way, but as "what was I thinking?" Wish I could delete it! There's no reason for me to say that stuff on here... and I'm sorry about this attention-seeking, I really try not to do that, I hate looking like I'm just looking for attention.
What do you mean by really listening? :-\ I am really trying to assess what I'm thinking and seeing and what others are saying, but it's hard to conclude anything. One thing I know for sure, I want this hurt to stop. And I feel that I can't handle the things I'm facing now. I want an easy way out, have that chance, and would be willing to do it. But... what? I really want to feel loved, worthwhile, wanted, accepted... I'd hate to leave so alone. But I try to look at what's possible in the future and can't imagine having those things, just functioning somewhat better but still lonely, and living in mediocrity, and probably repeatedly ending up back at this place. I don't think I can change enough to have those things, and those are all I'd live for, I don't care about working for or getting things, or achieving a degree or some other recognition, or experiences, or having kids and family... those mean nothing to me. I guess it makes sense, right? Those feelings/concepts are basic psyche needs, I could probably venture to say a person can't live without those just like a person can't live without having basic physical needs met.
That's what's holding me back, the desire to still hope to feel those things in life. But that's not something I can find here, and something I can't really let myself hope to ever find. As for coming here... people will "listen" and understand... and that's some comfort, more than thinking it alone. At the same time, though, I hate saying this stuff, it's emotional and can concern people, and I don't want to do that.
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Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.</font color=green> Sounds good...
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I'm not into South Park, I just thought the generator made cute avis.