Basically said that I'm struggling with it all right now. T noted I'd seemed to have taken a back step in light of improvement since we started... felt bad and guilty about it.

I know Rohag has talked about the whole battle of wanting to please those in authority as he puts it before... and yeah, I guess I've been trying to in some ways whilst wanting it to be true. Things had been more stable... but a few 'that's life' situations cropped up and chopped me off at the knees and I just feel like my resolve and motivation is having big moments of giving up completely.

Been significant times during this week that I've just wanted to end it... for two days I didn't eat (which is not like me at this age, I'm a muncher... but it felt reminiscent of my youth when I did have an eating disorder... I'm a good 5 stone heavier than I was then and I don't fancy adding that to my problems)... was looking at my lunch, breakfast (bought) and just had no wish to touch them... forced down a sandwich today.... and managed some soup tonight.

On top of that, I have a gp appointment coming up next week... and been wondering whether to just cancel it... dr too seems fixated on the improvement and last time I saw him 3 weeks ago seemed dismissive of my concerns... so yeah... crock of crap sums up my expectations right now.

Was reeling a little earlier today, said something I shouldn't of and edited that bit out too... gaylegg was kind enough to edit her post in turn.

All emptied out, so probably a good thing I'm off to get some sleep.

Thanks for the messages.