Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
Taking time away is an excellent beginning.
If you leave, you will not be sending him back to prison. He will do what he decides to do. Is he threatening that he will offend again, if you don't take him back? What does that tell you?
You've been living on your own for 5 years. How has that felt? Have you spent a lot of time every day wishing he were there with you? If you've gotten to kind of prefer being without him, then that is your answer right there. Maybe the reason visiting him seemed okay was because you didn't have to live with him.
If you don't really want to live with him, then don't. He will be eligible for some social services upon his release. It might be better for him if you to leave him now, as opposed to a year from now. Then he can depend on the social services for his support system when he gets out. He may get less of that, if he is going home to you.
Being with you was not the answer to his problems in the past. It didn't keep him from offending and ending up in prison. How good was this marriage really?
You're in a tough situation because you want so much to help him because you care. Lots of women have ruined their lives that way. You certainly wouldn't be the first. He has already ruined his. You can't change that. You will never again trust him as you did before he went away.
At the very least, consider getting some counseling. If there were any issues of domestic abuse, call the abuse hotline to get counseling specifically for that.
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When he threatens to go back he threatens to violate his parole by not going to work or breaking the center rules. That can get you sent back. He almost did that when he ended up at my place one day when i was not there and access porn on my pc.
I am just at a loss. I dont want to hurt him, but i also do not want to stay. I just cant put my feelings into words, because when i do he turns it around on me. I just wonder if i should put all my thoughts and feelings into a letter to him, which is how i find i am better at expressing such things.
I thank everyone for all th
eir options and thoughts.