Hello All- Thanks everyone for describing their particular bipolar experience, it really helps to know I'm not alone. Its been a confusing and frustrating time for me for sure... Had my first known full blown manic episode in my early 20's complete with hospitalization, after counseling and lithium and various sleeping meds was relatively stable for over 20 years. I always seem to find a way to develop some unnecessary anxiety over something which affects my sleep. Unfortunately started having thyroid issues with lithium and was transitioned to depacote/valproic acid. PCP encouraged me to try to come off meds... was OK for over a year, but some big time fears and anxiety and sleep loss led and a trial of Trazadone for sleeping (also happens to be an antidepressant which can kick in mania) resulted in another round in the hospital after wigging out. Unfortunately it also involved leaving my home and job. Relatives and friends have been very helpful but after several longs months I'm still trying to figure out what type of work I should do, hopefully something that doesnt add to my anxiety. Doing my best to be thankful for what I have and really wish this last episode didnt happen as its rocked my world on so many levels. All the best to everyone out there. Your stories help me feel more human.