Why do I come off as a jerk.I don't get it.Just because I have no self esteem does not mean I am a jerk. Just because other people have relationship has no barring on my situation.Every other person at my age has been with someone or at least had someone interested in them.I had neither happen to me.If I knew someone had liked be I would think different but no female.I send pm's to chicks on okcupid and I haven't gotten one reply.They look at my profile and see that I am fat and ugly and move on to a more attractive person so I have given up on online dating sites.Those things don't work and wast of time and if u pay for it waste of money.If a woman would be interested in me my self esteem would rise.I just don't think anyone would be interested in me cause nobody has before so I figure if I lived 33 years on this planet with nobody interested in dating me or anything so I figure it is not possible.If my self esteem keeps woman away that is stupid to me cause it would change my life and I gain more confidence in myself.No shrink no soul searching will ever do that.I don't know how to change my mindset and gain more confidence till that happens.I sit in my bed 95 percent of the time and workout about 30 mins a day.Lost 13 lbs so far.Sometimes I think why am I trying to lose weight.I sometime think it does not matter if I have a 4 pack 6 pack or 8 pack abs I cannot change how I look.I am still going to be a unattractive person.It don't matter if I am the most positive person the most confident person females still won't give me a chance so I am going up against a brick wall I feel like with no change in sight.Sometimes I think stop working out it just going to prolong my miserable life.If I stop working out I will hopefully die younger that is what I think sometimes and I hate it.I don't know how to change.I don't know what to do to be able to go out and gain enough courage to go up to a girl and ask out cause just the thought of it freaks me out.From the time I was in the 6th grade I figured I will be alone all my life.In conclusion I have no reason to believe any different than I do right now.