Hi there,

Mommy dearest may well have a dose of narcissism but from the behaviour that you have described she sounds more like a highly manipulative, controlling, self-centred abuser as opposed to having a personality disorder, although I do know there is a fine line between the two. You really need to see if she fits into the DSM criteria for NPD to be able to assess her "disorder" better. Narcissism is quite different to Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which I am sure you know. You can have people who are very narcissistic but do not meet the criteria to qualify for NPD. Also not believing that she has a problem is a trait shared amongst many disordered people. It would be worthwhile reading up on NPD and gaining more knowledge to bring further clarity to your mind as to whether she has NPD or not. At the end of the day what you have described is clearly an abusive relationship where one person (your mum) has power and control over another (you). It's clearly a dysfunctional relationship and not good for your own mental well being. You need to set firmer boundaries and you need to start thinking about YOU and how you can protect yourself and stay sane and safe. As far as treatment goes ..... forget it. The person must first be able to acknowledge that they have a problem and seek help. Herein lies the problem. If she does have NPD there is no treatment. Have you tried speaking with a Domestic Violence organisation about this? Whether or not she has NPD or whatever, what you are experiencing constitutes DV and it is unacceptable. Getting a DV counsellor for yourself would be beneficial. Not sure what else to say except look after yourself NOW.