I had a very narcissistic critical and lying mother so my symptoms began quite early on in life. As a teenager I struggled with anxiety, rage and depressive feelings. I would run away from home, get hysterical when arguing with mum and go bat **** crazy thinking she was going to emotionally abandon me which she did on a regular basis anyway. I started self harming, breaking stuff, had suicidal urges and found life either overwhelming or meaningless.
I ended up in hospital and wasn't really given a diagnosis other than what was written on my care plan which was 'mood swings with aggressive outbursts'. I assumed I had depression and anxiety as I was given antidepressants by the GP.
Fast forward years later and my latest breakdown was when I ended up in hospital again after resuming self harm, getting hysterical, extreme moods and suicidal urges. I was then diagnosed with BPD. I was scared at first but after learning about DBT felt more relieved that maybe I could recover. It also answered a lot of questions for me about my feelings and behaviour.
Since starting DBT I am so glad I have been given the chance to learn the skills I should have learned but was not taught as a child. I'm married now and learning to deal with my insecurities, abandonment fears and overwhelming emotions. I have learned that I invalidate myself on a daily basis, basically taking over where mum left off. Its a struggle but I feel like for the first time in all my life I might have a chance to once and for all heal. Good luck and whether you are diagnosed with BPD or not, don't give up and you can still post here for support.