I have been with an addict for almost 2 years. I tried supporting him in his efforts to turn his life around, but he keeps relapsing even in the suboxone program. Though we are very understanding of each others issues, we decided to take a break from our relationship. It is so hard to see him like this and I don't want to be an enabler. I don't think I can handle the pain he is causing me anymore. He suffers from anxiety and depression just as I do and we tried supporting each other in our positive efforts to make ourselves better. Looking back though I don't think he was ever really clean. Though most of the time he wasn't doing heroin he was using some sort of opiate, benzo, or alcohol to cope with his issues. We both had alcoholic fathers and a dysfunctional family. I feel so heartless and guilty disconnecting from him but I need to take care of myself. I totally understand why he uses and am slightly jealous. I wish I could use and cut and whatever else but I am terrified that if I take that first step I will never come back. I am really struggling right now and just wanted to tell someone cause I cannot tell family or friends. thanks for reading.