I don't know if I'll ever get it...though I'm rather patient. But I really believe that my wife doesn't even know what love language she speaks. We've been to a therapist (which she doesn't want to go to anymore since she's tired of talking) and my wife is of the adamant opinion that we aren't intimate anymore since I'm not romantic to her (oh and I don't have a six-pack). She is also of the opinion that I've never been romantic.

Now as a quick aside, those of you that have looked at my other posts and profile know that I'm bisexual and have a bit of a preference for guys. The more I look inside myself, it may be true that I don't "get" women...I get guys but women are too complex for me...which may be the reason I'm preferring "straight-forward men".

However, I love my wife "to the ends of the earth, and beyond" and am faithful and dedicated. I do want to be :MORE: for her. I've talked with my wife to find out what she wants or expects, but she has no answer. She says "I" have to be the "man" and figure it out. She told me if I can't figure it out on my own, find a book or research it on the internet. It's like being told to find a way to get the stars, so you build a rocket and then find out that all she wanted was a picnic at night with you.

Well, I'm working on it. I've got two pages of notes with ideas on how other people are romantic to their partners. I consider them and see if they fit with both our languages. It's funny to see how many of these recommendations I already do daily. Every day I talk to my wife about her plans and goals, how she's feeling, I provide encouragement. I listen to her, really, I mean I actually do listen. Last night I asked her if she had anything going on the next day. I received a nasty response about all the chores she has to accomplish (feed the horses, fold the laundry, make supper). She said she was annoyed that I ask her over and over again the same question, which always has the same response.

So whereas some people find that talking and listening to their partner is romantic, the fact I've been doing that same thing for years in annoying. So if I start taking her on a date night each week, how long before that becomes annoying? It's like a no-win situation (the Kobyashi-Maru scenario for those Trekkies out there). If I don't do something, I'm not romantic...if I do it regularly I'm annoying. She's told me she tired of me saying "I love you" so often.

So recently, I bought her a $500 necklace/earring set, and got a kiss out of it. I've been leaving Post-It notes each morning on the mirror in the bathroom telling her different ways that I love her. Next week, I have a surprise spa visit for the two of us in the middle of the week. I know I'm being negative here, but I am expecting that by the end of the month, my wife will tell me that I am trying to hard, doing too many things that "aren't me" and that she is getting overwhelmed. On the otherhand, maybe she'll be happy and we be closer and we'll get intimate again.

Like I said, I don't get it.