when emotions become overwhelming, having the skills to manage them is crucial. even tho the following were developed for anxiety and panic, i have found them to be equally useful for other emotions.

Self Comforting Skills

we are social creatures, but getting what we need when we need it from another is not always available. here are some of the suggestions from the DBT handbook on Self Soothing Skills:

think of soothing each of your FIVE SENSES

1) Vision: Notice what you see, find soothing things to look at.
(i go to a blog that has lovely pictures: C PTSD - A Way Out | A place to check in daily

2) Hearing: Pay attention to what you can hear around you.
(put on your favorite music...)

3) Smell: Be aware of the memories that smell can bring.
(i like to do aroma therapy. there are many Essential Oils for that.)

4) Taste: Carefully savor flavors that the day brings you.
(keep a favorite hard candy on hand, for the little sugar boost, too.)

5) Touch: Find comfort in touch.
(keep a special pillow or blanket with a favorite perfume on it.)

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy/Distress Tolerance Skills/Self-soothing - Wikibooks, open books for an open world

these are not listed, but i find them handy, too:

A) Reassurance: Tell yourself that you are OK, safe and unharmed.
(the danger is past, you have survived this before and now
you are stronger and more skillful than then.)

B) Take Action: Go for a walk, or exercise or clean house or cook. (use your
body's natural focusing powers to leave the emotion behind.)

C) Refocus: Think about pleasant things. Push the hurtful thoughts away.
(have a hobby or a story, or a book that you like, to take your
mind to a better place.)

Coping With Strong Emotions:

1. Remember, strong feelings are just exaggerations of normal bodily stress reactions.

2. Sensations are neither harmful nor dangerous - just unpleasant. Nothing worse will happen.

3. Emotions are temporary. Instead of fighting, relax into it. Just let it be.

4. Focus on facing the feeling rather than trying to avoid it or escape from it.

5. Stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts of where panic will lead.

6. Stay in the present. Be aware of what is happening to you rather than concern yourself with how much worse it might get.

7. Notice that when you stop adding to panic with frightening thoughts, the fear begins to fade.

8. Wait and give the feeling time to pass.

9. Look around you. Plan what you will do next as the emotion subsides.

10. When you are ready to go on, do so in an easy, relaxed manner. There is no hurry.

11. Think about the progress made so far despite all the difficulties.

Some Specific Actions:

1. Manage your breathing, if it is rapid, breathe into a paper sack to lower oxygen uptake;

2. Count your breaths, 1001, 1002, 1003, ect, up to 1020, then start again, slow down the count to slow your heartbeat. counting interferes with emotional feelings;

3. Delay doing anything about your anxiety or emotion, just follow the steps and focus on getting thru it;

4. Distract yourself, with anything that requires you to focus and is simple and handy - at home you might read something easy, like a magazine, or knit or wash dishes, whatever engages your attention;

5. Eat something to replenish the blood sugars that adrenalin has burned up, and give yourself at least 15 minutes for the kidneys to clean out the 'ashes' in your blood;

6. Write these things down and keep them with you, until you have made them a habit

practice these skills before you need them, or when you are just mildly upset, so they will be familiar when you are feeling very upset. i hope you find this information helpful~

best wishes~
Gus