I like your polar bear! Haha! I feel that way today... Drugs complicate everything it seems and love especially should me more simple... the suboxone is a somewhat new thing (I quit H in 1998 without methodone) I'm not sure suboxone doesn't just prolong the inevitable. A close family member recently quit H as well and she was on suboxone while staying at my home "trying to get clean" and I felt like she was still way too f'd up to trust and now that she's really clean and back in school she's apologized and admitted that my suspicions were correct at that time. She said she was not really clean until she really decided to quit and that when she did make that decision: going on suboxone wasn't anything that she thought would help. She did however thank me for taking her in a second time and setting her up with a new life where H wasn't even accessible. I found through my experience that getting as far away as possible from the "people, places and things" makes all the difference. I left the country for 3 months and when I moved back everyone I did drugs with was dead or in jail. I've been off H for 19 years now and I only think about relapsing occasionally when I'm really depressed and have suicidal ideation but even then I think I'd rather be dead than be an heroin addict again... and the urge passes. Good luck. I think you're already on the right track. Perhaps a ticket to Argentina would help you too? Whatever you need to do to stop is the right thing to do is what I'm trying to say I guess. Get yourself straight and there will be something better for you waiting around the corner, give it time, you'll see.