Sorry if this is blunt but your partner seems to behave like a spoilt child and seems pretty controlling. Does he have anger management issues?

I guess you need to ask yourself whether you want to have a relationship (and fight for it, seeing he doesn’t seem keen) with someone who is not prepared to talk about issues or treat you with some respect. Does he communicate at all with you – as in talking to you, not shouting?

If you do want to make it work, then yes, you could try going to counselling by yourself. On the other hand, it takes two to ‘run’ a relationship. It is not fair if you have to bear the burden by yourself… and especially if this has been dragging on for a couple of years, as you say.

I am also quite concerned about your child. Does s/he live with you two and witness your partner’s tantrums? And how does your partner behave towards the child?

I think you ought to (re)-consider what you get out of this relationship, as neither of you seems very happy....