I've wondered about this too...I'm the youngest of four and since my father died 18 years ago, I've been the one left out. Dad provided that unconditional love and support. Mom and sisters are hypercritical, leading to depression. I search for satisfaction and pleasure anywhere that I can find it. Lately, it has been elusive, but it really is there for all of us. I empathize with you. I was hospitalized late Dec 2013 through early Jan 2014 for depression, mainly because I kept asking those "why me" questions and answering them in a very depressed person's way...I'm glad you posted this here, and I'm hopeful that you are not giving up.