hi i'm new here. i don't know who else to talk to or where else to turn. i was seeing a therapist at my college but i decided i didn't like him bc i thought he was sarcastic and not taking me seriously a couple times so i stopped seeing him.

i don't really know what's wrong with me. i had a dx 10 years ago of major depressive disorder. since then things got better overall but i've recently had some setbacks. a dr i saw a few years ago said my depression in cyclic. i also had psychotic episodes and anger issues back then, didn't land in the hospital thank god but i was good at hiding it. i don't have those really anymore. i went to an NA meeting 7 months ago (narcotics anonyomous) bc i had big problems in that area. ever since i went to the meeting things were better, i stopped using. i also dropped all of my friends (i thought they were bad influences), stopped socializing totally. which is way different for me i used to be a heavy partier constanly out w friends all the time. so in the last 7 months i've gone out 2 times socially. i'm hollow inside, as if you could knock on me and there'd be a echo. i don't like people i'm a misanthrope. i love my dog more than i ever will with people. i'm numb when i converse with my family otherwise they'll bother/annoy me. i have problems with ppl and professors at grad school i'm constantly going back and forth in my head about them it makes me stressed. on the outside i can smile, laugh at someone's jokes or what they say, i can put on a good show like i'm normal, but inside things do not equal what it looks like on the outside.

i think the bottom line is ever since i turned sober i don't know how to socialize around people. i have some anger, mood swings, and feel hollow. i misinterpert what ppl say i think but i can't help it. like, i figure out what their real agenda is, and what they're really trying to say or do, usually it's the opposite of what they are trying to pose as. sorry if this sounds weird i dont know a better way to describe it. this all started ever since i went sober (not even drinking). any suggestions?