Very insightful on Rohag's part.

Sound like his actions are a huge trigger for you. They say that we get in these relationships to try to recreate the past and heal it. I dunno. Its a theory but it makes sense to me.

The problem is that we choose people who are not good for us because we are trying to recreate a past that was not good for us. How is that going to be healing? It can be done with two willing people who are willing to learn how to help each other heal and get lots of individual help and grow together. It takes a lot of work and is not easy. Relationships are the hardest thing. I have had a couple of good ones where we were doing this but fears of commitment and fears of abandonment over ruled and they ended. We both learned a lot though and did grow.

If he is not willing and is not helping you heal then work on yourself and find someone who is. I hate to be blunt but that is what a very knowledgeable therapist told me straight up. Its not easy because "love addiction" can be involved but it was very good straight advice. Why waste your time. Is he gonna change? Can you change him? Maybe he is willing to change, I have no way of knowing.