Sometimes you don't need someone to manipulate you for you to put your needs last, if you have low self esteem, odds are you are really nice to your partner and (maybe) secretly really grateful just for his companionship, doing what you can to repay him. Codependent also means you rely on your partner for support that isn't always healthy. For example, I'm in a non-abusive relationship, but my partner enables some of my self-destructive behaviors, like he will do all the grocery shopping and before you know it I haven't left the house for three months. Perhaps your relationship has more "issues" like these? Sorry if I'm completely wrong by the way.