I understand what you are going through. My mother was a drug addict/alcoholic when I was a child and was very neglectful and very mentally abusive when I was growing up. My father was the same way (drug addict/alcoholic) but he wasn't around much, but we still fought often, almost every time I seen him.

Now I am 25 years old and am married to a man that has two kids from a previous marriage, plus my two from and a new little one on the way. My mother has changed, and is on medications and what not, but it doesn't change the fact that I worry a lot about what she will say when she comes around me. That I try and avoid her as much as possible.

My advice would be to voice your thoughts to your mother, as in, how she is when you come over with your son. But when you do (since you know your mother) watch how you say what you want to say, so that she doesn't freak, so to speak. As far as your wife and daughter and yourself you guys need to sit down and talk. Maybe they can give you tips on how to get the 'hook' out maybe?

Also forgot, there is a website that might be able to help. http://www.mentalfeel.com/how-to-fix...fe-once-again/

This falls for basically any relationship not just a love relationship.

Also another one that might help you with your mother. http://www.mentalfeel.com/how-to-ove...fe-back-again/