Is your therapist intimidating to you?

When I was about 17, I saw an eminent psychoanalyst. She had a huge, posh, dark, art-filled office. I was a bit cowed and didn't feel comfortable at all. Sure, she could tell me to be comfortable, but telling me how to feel doesn't usually work: between her style of therapy and the trappings of her position, I never did get comfortable. So... I wonder if any of that resonates with you.

On the other hand, if you want to be more spontaneous and don't think it's related to the office or the person.... have you considered telling her your worst fears? Like, talk to her about the absolute worst outcome if you picked up that pillow....

would she think you were a freak for manhandling it? Would she think you must be super insecure or childish? Would she want your grimy hands off it? Ha....

That's a "game" I used to play with my first counselor, and I loved it and found it helpful... asking why I'm holding back, basically, what is the worst thing that could happen. Sometimes that helped defuse my fears a bit.