Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123
Is your therapist intimidating to you?
When I was about 17, I saw an eminent psychoanalyst. She had a huge, posh, dark, art-filled office. I was a bit cowed and didn't feel comfortable at all. Sure, she could tell me to be comfortable, but telling me how to feel doesn't usually work: between her style of therapy and the trappings of her position, I never did get comfortable. So... I wonder if any of that resonates with you.
On the other hand, if you want to be more spontaneous and don't think it's related to the office or the person.... have you considered telling her your worst fears? Like, talk to her about the absolute worst outcome if you picked up that pillow....
would she think you were a freak for manhandling it? Would she think you must be super insecure or childish? Would she want your grimy hands off it? Ha....
That's a "game" I used to play with my first counselor, and I loved it and found it helpful... asking why I'm holding back, basically, what is the worst thing that could happen. Sometimes that helped defuse my fears a bit.
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She is pretty intimidating to me. But not because of her credentials or her office-she's a very modest, simplistic person. I think it might be because she has strong boundaries that sometimes confuse or surprise me because I wouldn't expect her to have an issue with something, and she does. For example, she really didn't want to talk about what I was going to do as far as schooling after college because she said it was more guidance counselor territory and not what she was here for. But there are also times when I expect her to be more strict and am surprised that she's not (for example, she let me ask her questions for an entire session, but I've only asked like 1 or 2 questions about herself for my entire 3 years with her). So that may be playing a part in it.
Thanks for the helpful suggestion about talking about the worst thing that could happen. I did tell her that I was afraid she would think it was weird, but I didn't dig deeper and consider specifically what she would think. Your example of me manhandling it or seeming childish both resonated with me. Maybe I should think deeper about her specific thoughts when I am afraid to do something. It sounds like it would help me see how lightly my concerns should really be impacting me. Thanks Leah!