Quote:
Originally Posted by CupcakeJ
Thanks for all your advice. So my question isn't really should I keep seeing him - no, I know I don't want that anymore. The question was more, how do I get him to leave me alone.
Yesterday I told him "I want out, leave me alone"
He said, okay, but I want to meet up first and have a drink together. So I said "no, we're not meeting up". And then I walked away. This may seem like empty words, but I never stood up to him before so he was sort of shocked. Of course, easier said than done. But so far he hasn't called/texted me, so that's a start.
To the question, why is he my best friend. That's because he's been really supportive since I got sick, at work but also if I needed someone to tell my story to (while crying, no sex). I do have other friends btw
Still confused, but I'm so done with this guy and really should be foccusing on my treatment. Will never understand why he doesn't feel guilty about all this, because thinking about it makes me feel sick. But perhaps you're right and he has different values.
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I agree with Rose, even tho it might grate that you may need to 'humble' yourself...Don't forget however, if he does start trash talking you or doing other things to show his displeasure (because he probably will) report him to the HR dept of your company for sexual harrassment. It DOES NOT matter that you did actually have an affair with him. Once you told him it was over, it is now his responsibilty to respect that and leave you alone. If the company doesn't follow through then go to the Labor Dept in your state/area.
You also need to understand that your immediately 'falling in love' with him was probably orchastrated by him....seriously. It's happened to me. Once you're further away from it, you'll start to see how it occured, and it won't feel so mystical or 'meant to be', as it may now. And because he so quickly, eagerly went into an affair with you, whilst his wife was busy succoring his 3 child, I'd be willing to bet the farm you're NOT his first affair. Nor are you likely to be the last.
I'm particularly annoyed with his suggestion (?) that you get the morning after pill after he convinced you to do something you knew was particularly dangerous to your health....this, my dear, is NOT the thing a 'best friend', a 'soul mate', or even a 'really nice man' would EVER suggest. Not the first part, and certainly not the second. It seems to me, the person who really does care about you, and is honestly supporting you, is your doctor. Not this man. Btw...odds are, when you mentioned a possible pregnancy because of the unprotected sex he insisted on, he was only thinking of future child support. Not your feelings. Nor his wife's.
I'm sorry for your situation. And trust me, I know all to well how awful it is now and will be later. But just as everyone has already recommended, you need to dump this loser (and don't shake your head....he IS a loser and a user) ... take care of yourself, stop 'selling yourself short' as my aunt used to say.
There really is a good man out there for you. This is not a good man. So he's not for you.
