Right now i honestly just realized that i am completely hating myself right now. I am so lost that i think i have completely lost touch with my own reality! Everyone around me keeps talking about my "diet" etc. and it's driving me insane...why is everyone talking about me?! why am i just now being informed about this?! I must be overreacting..i must be so i'm trying to calm down but it's seriously not working. I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror anymore! I used to be so confident, so many people adimit to being "jealous" of me but still how do i hate myself? I feel my stomach and it just feels so huge...i feel my sides and it's like i could grab handfulls of flab! All i can think to myself is "you idiot...look what you've let yourself become...you're so stupid this is all you'll ever be." this is not good. i can't possibly be what i think i am...but it's what i see! I just can't believe that my own eyes are lying to me.