You're not alone in having the thoughts and nor is talking about thoughts/ideations taboo here as far as I'm aware.

It can be very lonely, confusing and scary when you're unable to communicate... so please, if this is an place that you can open up, let it out and know that you'll receive understanding/advice from those that have been there/are there.

Oh and I agree with regretful... there is likely to be college counselling on site... can take a bit of digging to find them, but they should be there.